The post title that just wants to go for a walk, too.

As I sit here in my tiny comfortable space, with the warmth of the sunshine hitting my legs, I am trying to identify how I truly feel. I reflect on a question I was asked a few weeks ago, which I didn't have an answer for at the time but now feel is beginning to unfold: "Is there something you are trying to work through?" The question is difficult for me to answer, to speak in depth about, or to think beyond the simple idea that I just want to walk. That I want to be outside all the time. That I want to be liberated. It's difficult to think about what it means to me when I'm just sitting here and the sunshine is begging for my attention. So I take a walk in the woods instead.

I conjure up my mojo for the steep climb ahead of me. I aim to ascend like a warrior. Here we go, Brit. You're a real badass. A bloody champion. Eat dirt like you mean it. Bruise purposefully. Bam! I laugh at the way I talk to myself. But I believe, and I soon find myself in the sweet spot of physiology. I'm feeling good and Nature is opportune; she pulls me further from my head and into her dream. Oh, look at that tree! Smell the tree! Don't you love trees? Ah, man, that's a rad rock. And what a cool piece of dirt. Woah, those mushrooms are glowing. See the old man's beard? It sure is wild! (Apply to armpits and upper lip for a good time.) Earth is magical, all is well, plaguing complexities are forgotten. I start my hike with heavy thoughts, but end having dumped them all behind me.

One question doesn't entirely escape my psyche: What if I cannot rise to the challenge and adapt to the physical demands? I realize I will be working through a huge "something": the awareness of my physical limitations, the discomfort of intimately knowing my edges, the exposure of weakness, and the commitment to a greater love for the body I inhabit. A body I often feel trapped in. A body I have had to work against to succeed at anything. A body I sometimes feel miserable in because it isn't compatible with what my heart and mind aspire after. A body that I don't always understand or know how to attend to. A body that I have so much respect for at times, but am completely disconnected from at other times. I want to discover the body that exceeds my own expectations, that knows strength and resilience, of which I am acutely aware of. Will my body succumb to it's limitations? Will I access unrecognized potential? When it matters most, will relentless determination translate into physical mastery and ascension?